35 has been a long time coming. While I'm no longer 35, I began this painting when I was 34, I think. Sometime in 2012, I believe, or maybe 2013, those years are a bit of a blur. I was running my gallery in Newton, NJ, a large 1250 sq' space where I was teaching, curating and exhibiting shows, and painting. Those years were great, and I have fond memories of the space, the art, and the people I connected with through art.
At the same time, it was tough. We honor and lift up women who do it all, and laud all the hard work. But, behind all of the successes, events, and work, I was struggling. My oldest son was 3 and in daycare 4 days a week, I was working tremendous hours, and my husband was commuting an 1 1/2 by to Millburn, NJ, and traveling on top of it for work. In the midst, we wanted to have a second child. I grew up with a sibling, as did my husband, so we wanted that for my son. All the while, my husband and I were discussing a move from Newton, which on top of everything was draining; not knowing whether to close my gallery, where we would go, what I would do.
The second time around, this process was not easy. Looking back at my life at the time, I can see why. I eventually got pregnant sometime in 2011, and was so thrilled that I wanted to tell my family and close friends, earlier than most do. I always felt if something did happen, I would want the support of my family. Sadly, something did happen, and I miscarried around 6 weeks. It was hard. I sometimes minimize the difficulty by saying, well it wasn't as hard as others' situations, but it doesn't matter. A loss is a loss and it is emotionally difficult to deal with. Beyond that, recovering physically was something I wasn't prepared for. It took a toll on my body and it took me almost a year to move on, not so much emotionally, but to normalize my body and physically let go.
This piece was started sometime after I miscarried, which the term in itself has a negative connotation and suggests that the mother did something wrong. I never felt it was my fault, and was hopeful that I would be able to conceive in the future. During that time I put so much pressure on myself, that I ended up with increased anxiety, a trip to the ER for a panic attack, and of course the side effect was an inability to let my body relax and be open to a pregnancy. After therapy, many doctors appointments for various issues, I finally found an answer from a doctor who, after some minor medications worked, told me your body is healthy, you can start trying. He worked with me, he was honest with me, and his statement lifted a weight off my shoulders. About a month later, I was pregnant with my, now, 3-year old son.
I've dealt with appliances as a subject for various reasons; maybe out of fear or just not knowing yet how to deal with the figure. They have become metaphors for people. Many are unfamiliar with the small appliance depicted in my work; it's a Sunbeam egg cooker. It was my mother's; she gave it to me several years ago to use in my work. This entire work is an evolution from my Maésta paintings featuring an appliance version of a Madonna and child seated on a throne. No longer is the chair the seat of the appliance, but a reference to a kitchen sink that has been collaged with egg shells. If you count the pearls, you will see there are 34. At the time after my miscarriage, 35 was the year when all things fertility-wise start going downhill (so we were told) and you become classified as high risk. This year hung over the head of many of my friends, including myself at the time. I ended up pregnant at 34, and delivered at 35, a healthy natural birth.
We ended up selling our house and closing my gallery two months prior to his birth, and relocating to a temporary apartment in Short Hills. All of my art supplies were boxed up shy of a sketchbook and a few watercolors. We were there for only 5 months before moving permanently to our home in West Orange. I took the time after having my son to care for him, minimize the time my oldest was in pre-school and get our house settled. That first year and a half are a bit of a blur with lots of sleepless nights and very full days. I produced little if any artwork during that time.
I gradually set up my studio, began teaching again, and I believe it wasn't until last year, that I pulled out this painting to resume work on it. I'm not one that easily lets go of things (as you can see). And, while some artists can just toss out a painting, say it's not significant for me, that wasn't the case. I needed to finish this, see it through to the end; it was important. So finally after 3 intense months working on this a few hours a week, I felt it was completed. It is done. That period of my life is over, but not forgotten. It was beautiful, tough, and while I often felt discouraged, there was hope that a second child would come, despite 35 hanging over my head.
Now, 35 is not such a problem and new research is coming out that suggests women who give birth at later ages, actually live longer! I stumbled on an article in The Daily Beast by Jean Twenge, psychologist and author of The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant, that noted 35 was derived based on French birth records from 1670 and 1830! It was thought that 1 out of 3 women could not get pregnant between the ages of 35 - 39. Those statistics lasted so far into the future that it affected my thinking about my pregnancy capabilities only a few years ago. New studies show 80% of that age group does become pregnant. So to those who have experienced miscarriage, struggles with pregnancy, fertility, you are not alone. I'm so thankful that this is a conversation that we are starting to have, and am very grateful that my second child did arrive, and thrilled that "35" has been resolved and is no longer on my easel.
Head over to my Facebook album of works in progress if you'd like to see the development and transformation of "35" over the past several years. Contact me for interest in the "35" or exhibit opportunities for the work.
Red Carpet Icons: New Works by Jennie Traill Schaeffer (ok, me) are on exhibit now through early March at the Valley's own Hat City Kitchen. I spent the better part of the end of the year producing several new pieces around the theme of the red carpet. Many of the works feature appliances, including several Crock Pots, a toaster, and espresso machine, along with a few baked goods and "thrones" of the home. The Crock Pot, in particular, was a pivotally important cook's tool. Through my research I learned it was the vogue appliance of the 1970s and I made the connection to the red carpet. Many of my appliances in past works (one included here, St. Mixer), were sainted with halos and personified in a way. This seemed to be a natural transition for me. All of the works in the exhibit are in oil (with the exception of one relief print), employing vivid colors and thick textural paint.
We had a soft opening reception in December during Valley Arts' monthly Artists Salon. Thank you to several of my friends and artists who showed up to support me. Thank you especially to Jeremy Moss, local artist and Valley Arts volunteer who helped me hang the show and invite me to exhibit. And, thank you to Patricia Rogers from Masconsumption.com who has Tweeted, Instagrammed, and paid me incredible compliments on my work. Luckily the work is up for two more months over the course of two more Artist Salons, tonight, January 11th and next month on February 8th. Please come down between 6 - 8pm to see the work, enjoy a drink or appetizer, and chat. I'll have 2016 Calendars and Assorted Prints / Small Works set up during the salons for sale also.
I've been eating a lot of citrus fruit as I try to clear my head of a month-long cold. These clementines became the inspiration for my December calendar, and a great exercise in exploring complementary colors and the play of shadows, while pushing my watercolor technique during a class of mine at Work and Play in South Orange, NJ. And of course, I live in West Orange, so oranges are on my mind. Enjoy and stay healthy as we approach winter and the treats of the holidays.
While I may not have actually painted or drawn an original artwork every day, and may not have even made it into the studio, when I look back at what I've actually accomplished, I'm astounded! I chose to voluntarily participate in artist Leah Piken Kolidas' Art Every Day Month 2015 challenge. Looking back over the month and seeing my paintings in one place, I'm amazed by the number of works I've created in a short period.
Caring for two young kids, a husband who is traveling out of state three days a week, and my teaching schedule has not been easy. Some days are harder then others and I wonder why I do this to myself. But, at the end of the day, or in this case, the month, the fruits of my labor (as well as the growth in my kids and special time we've spent celebrating 7th and 40th birthdays, Thanksgiving, and more) has been worth it. I know when I've been painting, drawing, or creating in my studio, I'm a happier mom, artist, wife, and all around person. And, even if I'm not creating my own work in the studio, every day I am creating for my kids and my students. But this was a month dedicated to my own growth in my artwork.
I still have more work to do for my upcoming solo show at Hat City Kitchen, slated to open on December 14th. But I feel more confident than ever in my ability to meet my goals in the studio. Thank you to Leah and the community that she has developed that helped keep me accountable, and to my husband and kids for understanding the late nights and weekend work time. If you're in the NJ area on December 14th, please consider joining me for my opening of my first solo show in several years, over a delicious Cajun-style meal at Orange's Hat City Kitchen, in the Valley Arts District.
There is still just about half of November left to enjoy my 2nd month offering a free downloadable desktop calendar featuring my newest work, November Birthday Cake.
Inspired by the cake baked by my 7-year old for his own birthday, this new watercolor plays with circles and stripes, and incorporates my husband's grandmother's vintage taffeta apron. This month also marks my husband's 40th and we just spent the weekend celebrating with a surprise party.
So Happy Birthday Joel and Lee, and to all of my followers, may you enjoy the cake! And, don't forget you can still purchase my 2016 TraillWorks Calendar (a full color, gift-able printed calendar) from my web site!
Jennie Traill Schaeffer
Sometimes called the Kitchen God's Artist, I'm balancing mothering two energetic sons, a big mutt Ringo, making and teaching art. TraillWorks is the apron under which I create and teach. My own art develops mostly in my West Orange home studio, but is sometimes spurred through my teaching, which takes place at Oh! Canary Studio, located in Maplewood, NJ.
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West Orange, NJ
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Photos of Jennie by Kat Dela Cruz..